I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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