I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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