It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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