In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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