yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
