Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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