I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
