I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
