Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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