In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize