Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize