put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize