I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I have aggressive nipples.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
