i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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