My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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