she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
