Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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