Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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