I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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