just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize