he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Two words: blizzard sex
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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