If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
