He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
