It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
