haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
