i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
