Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
