Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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