you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
