I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
