I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
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Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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