Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
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