I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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