He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
So apparently I’m into choking now
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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