How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
