the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
jump out the window naked night went bad
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
