I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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