i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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