My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
