So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
