from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize