how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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