omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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