i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
