he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
