too bad you live with your parents still
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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