Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
