it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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