Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
