Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
operation harelip BJ is a go
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize