I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
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I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
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Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.