I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Plan B is the new Plan A
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Drake has all the answers