Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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