oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
