I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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