dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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