i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
