I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
