A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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