i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
